he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
