I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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