currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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