wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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