Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
