Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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