At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize