He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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