What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A+ Viking dick
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