who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
