I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
