dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
