If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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