Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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