she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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