What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
