I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
