the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
