People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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