Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
