i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
