She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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