i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
