It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
