I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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