P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
