The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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