i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
