got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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