yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
handjob tips. give me some.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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