.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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