I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
