Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize