I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
