Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize