Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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