i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
