i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
