who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
