I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
