wanna go halves on a baby?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
