I think my fart just growled at me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
