just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
