I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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