Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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