You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
