I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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