A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
