Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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