people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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