Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
