he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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