im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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