So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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