I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
