I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
