its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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