this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
