my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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