You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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