Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize