R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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