you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
