Your tits are I can't wait for
Buhtt sex?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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