are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
