were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
