Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
