Sponge bath it is.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
