we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
