his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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