She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
