I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There's always time for handjobs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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