I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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