Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
